If your child will not go to bed
- Decide what time you want your child to go to bed.
- Start a "winding down" bedtime routine 20 minutes before the time that your child usually falls asleep. Bring this forward by 5 to 10 minutes each week – or 15 minutes if your child is in the habit of going to bed very late – until you get to the bedtime you want.
- Set a limit on how much time you spend with your child when you put them to bed. For example, read only 1 story, then tuck your child in and say goodnight.
- Give your child their favourite toy, dummy (if they use one) or comforter before settling into bed.
- Leave a beaker of water within reach and a dim light on if necessary.
- If your child gets up, keep taking them back to bed again with as little fuss as possible.
- Try to be consistent.
- You may have to repeat this routine for several nights.
If your child will not go to sleep without you
This technique can help toddlers (over 12 months) or older children get used to going to sleep without you in the room.
It can also be used whenever your child wakes in the middle of the night.
Be prepared for your child to take a long time to settle when you first start.
You can use strokes or pats instead of kisses if your child sleeps in a cot and you cannot reach them to give them a kiss.
- Follow a regular calming bedtime routine.
- Put your child to bed when they're drowsy but awake, then kiss them goodnight.
- Promise to go back in a few moments to give them another kiss.
- Return almost immediately to give a kiss.
- Take a few steps to the door, then return immediately to give a kiss.
- Promise to return in a few moments to give them another kiss.
- Put something away or do something in the room then give them a kiss.
- As long as the child stays in bed, keep returning to give more kisses.
- Do something outside their room and return to give kisses.
- If the child gets out of bed, say: "Back into bed and I'll give you a kiss".
- Keep going back often to give kisses until they're asleep.
- Repeat every time your child wakes during the night.
More sleep tips for under-5s
- Make sure you have a calming, predictable bedtime routine that happens at the same time and includes the same things every night.
- If your child complains that they're hungry at night, try giving them a bowl of cereal and milk before bed (make sure you brush their teeth afterwards).
- If your child is afraid of the dark, consider using a nightlight or leaving a landing light on.
- Do not let your child look at laptops, tablets or phones in the 30 to 60 minutes before bed – the light from screens can interfere with sleep.
- If your child wakes up during the night, be as boring as possible – leave lights off, avoid eye contact and do not talk to them more than necessary.
- Avoid long naps in the afternoon.
Help your disabled child to sleep
Sometimes children with long-term illnesses or disabilities find it more difficult to sleep through the night. This can be challenging both for them and for you.
More help with children's sleep problems
It can take patience, consistency and commitment, but most children's sleep problems can be solved.
If your child is still having problems sleeping, you can talk to your health visitor.
They may have other ideas or suggest you make an appointment at a children's sleep clinic, if there's one in your area.